Time for bed, sleepy head, not so fast, the widow’s brain said. The darkness it comes as the night seems to fall and my mind is not ready to rest at all. Each night I walk to a room that I am reluctant to face, and I find myself lying down next to a cold empty space.
The air in the room is silent and still as I lay there thinking, this just can’t be real. My eyes become heavy and are aching to rest, but I’m fighting the urge because I know what’s best. I’m afraid to give in and fall asleep because that’s when the nightmares begin to creep.
The room is dark, and the hall is too long, I have no one to help me and I can’t seem to move on. Its empty and cold and no one is there, my heart is racing, and I am frantic with fear. I wake up full of sweat only to realize it was a nightmare.
I am afraid to lay down, my eyes want to rest, but I mustn’t give in. I just can’t go to sleep and go back where I’ve been. I’m exhausted but scared and I’m shaking within, its too late it’s happening again.
I have fallen asleep and resting quite well, oh no here it comes I am back in hell. The room I am in, is all lit and seems fine, I know all the people and they all are quite kind. I walk through the place and around everyone there, but no one seems to know that I am here. I turn to ask the person who’s near, but they don’t look at me and my voice they can’t hear.
Something goes wrong and they all cling together as the room grows quite cold, but I am alone and have no one to hold. I am crying and scared, sometimes heartbroken and mad, I do not want to be there I am lonely and sad. The darkness sets in, and I scream out in fear, only to wake up from another nightmare.
When will this end, will these ever go away? I am tired and ready for pleasant dreams to come and stay.
I’m happy now, not sad and I have let go of the pain, bring on the sunshine and please take away the rain. I want to lay down and thank God from above to have someone to hold me as we lay there comforted and in love. I want peaceful sleep while I dream of good moments and new memories to share. Is it possible that someday I will be there?
When does it all go away? When do things start to feel right so when I go off to bed, the nightmares are not there ruining my night?
They all say find peace and stop all the tears, but you can never understand until you are the one having the widow’s nightmares.