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Starting Over

Have you ever found yourself in the midst of living your life just as you believed you were meant to and then there’s a flash and everything that once was just suddenly comes to a halt, your world shifts on its axis , like your part of some video game scenario or movie scene and you are now standing in the center of your life feeling like everything is moving in slow motion and realizing, you are no longer on the same path that you once were and you can’t go back. The only option for you now… is starting over.

So how do you start over from the middle of a life you were already creating? You have already fallen in love with boy of your dreams and were high school sweethearts, had the whole fairy tale wedding, the beautiful babies and begun your career in life and now the next step was planning life with the one you love after all of your kids have grown up and moved out to create their own path in life and then the good lord says, hold on, I don’t like the way this story is going, I think her story needs to change, I think the rest of her life should be lived differently, reaches down with the end of his golden pencil and erases the whole next chapter of your life and says ”start over young lady. ” “Find who you are and change your path in life to something that pleases me more.”

Well Lord, you are the author and the architect here, I am looking for your guidance now. I do not believe you have destined me to live the rest of my life alone, so I am counting on you to lead my heart in the right direction just as you did when I was fifteen. I am certain that there is some purpose for me in this world that leaves you changing my path in life, because I feel that deep within my soul, so I will be here waiting for you to bring that to light for me. I can answer all the reasons for all the moves I made in the first chess game that led me to where I am today, but I am coming up quite empty with what my next move is on this suddenly empty gameboard and what direction I am headed from here.

Falling in love is the easy part, you usually feel that deep in your heart, the minute you see that perfect smile that makes the entirety of your internal self immediately become filled with warmth and it lights you up from within. A conversation that is so easy it almost seems like they have always known you and an unstoppable force that will not allow you to stop thinking about them and every time you do it brings a smile to your face and a happiness to your soul. You just somehow know they are the one.

The challenge is not in finding that person, the challenge is in finding you. The story does not start over until you figure out your next move, where you are headed and what your ultimate destination in life really is.

Continuing your day-to-day life and working to pay the bills that is just what is necessary, but it is not the answer. When God chooses to make changes in your life and turns the dial forcing you to take another path, you are charged with the responsibility of choosing wisely and making every choice count. You have to know within your heart and deep in your soul that he is expecting something special of you, he chose for you to keep living for a reason, so open your mind, listen to your heart and feel within your soul and know he will lead you toward your purpose on this earth and he will fill you with all his blessings if you only choose to believe in him.

I am not sure what my purpose is and why he is choosing me to go on, and I have no clue where I am headed from here, but I am certain that wherever it is and whatever it is, the next move is mine to make. So, I am clearing my mind, so it is open for his direction, but continues to remember what I once had and I am opening my heart so I can feel new love while holding on to the greatest love and I am strengthening my soul so when the knock comes to my door I can feel that what is meant for me is right, while placing what once was tightly nestled in my memory and I will know that the lord has chosen this new chapter for me because he still believes in me and he sees a greater path for me than I am able to see for myself, just yet!

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