Every time I drive by the place where my husband left the road and passed away, there is that subtle feeling that makes me want to vomit and takes my breath away. I am starting to believe that for me, that spot along the highway will never be same. Every time I climb into my bed, it feels empty, as if a piece of me is missing and will never come back home. Somehow these four walls no longer feel like ours, but instead mine and mine alone.
You never lose these moments and the challenges to be strong and continue on are always there. You start to find out new things about yourself that you never realized were imbedded into your psyche and new challenges that you must endure as you continue to build a new you and a new life on your own.
What we must always remember is to have faith in the Lord and he will carry you through and lead you to peace and happiness once again.
For me, he has certainly begun to do just that. I have found the most incredible man, who never ceases to make me feel beautiful and completely loved. Together we can laugh not only at any situation, but at each other and ourselves. We share the want to just have fun, be silly, and stop at any given moment and just dance to the music that fills us with happiness and joy.
I never thought I would love again or even want to, but somehow his perseverance and his willingness to be patient all at the same time, drew me in. The way he looks at me as if I am some mesmerizing painting on a wall that he just can’t stop being in awe of. The love that shines in his eyes and makes me blush ever so slightly every time he stops to look at me, and the way his kiss just fills me with warmth all the way to the tips of my toes. I am so blessed to have found love and to be in love for a second time in my life and strangely enough, none of it feels wrong and I have no uncertainty about the way I feel for him.
I am so thankful for all of the blessings the lord continues to provide me and I am forever grateful for the compassion the lord has bestowed upon me. The joy that I hold is so intense, to have the most amazing children, the most wonderful family and now the most exciting and incredible second chance to love someone so unconditionally once again and feel so immensely loved back, makes me the proudest and happiest woman in the world.
Nothing in this world is more important or feels greater than love itself. No money, materialistic items, or power can make you feel the way love makes you feel. A mother’s love for her children is unmistakable and unyielding and the love of a partner, a best friend, and a soul mate is unbelievable. I am a very lucky woman to have and to feel all of this love today and to know that I always will.
Thank you, boys, for always being my rock and my strength when I needed you most, you will always be the most important part of my life. I love you all so very much. Thank you, Sweetheart, for loving me and filling me with such happiness and joy every day. You are truly the joy of my life. I love you.