Is that really who you are?

I have always been a believer. I believe in the Lord. I believe people can change if they truly want to, I believe there is a positive to every negative, and today more than ever I believe in myself. However, lately I have lost faith in people. I have come to realize with a greater sense than I have ever known that people are not always who you believed them to be.

Do you remember that scene in the wizard of oz, when the great oz stated, “pay no attention to that man behind the curtain, I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ” At almost fifty-two years old I now understand the moral behind that line. I have learned an incredible lesson in the last four years, people are great at seeing what they want to believe about someone, and it is really easy to portray that person to others when you have never spent any quality time with each other in order to really get to know one another. We are all capable of hiding behind our own curtain and pretending to be someone other than who we really are.

This is not to say that there are not genuine people out there that remain true to themselves. I myself am not capable of hiding the real me, you can read my every lie and attempt at being who I am not on my face and in my body language. What you see in me is truly who I am.

Whatever your perception of me may be, know this, I have grown tired of trying to prove myself to others. I am over trying to gain acceptance from anyone, and I will not ever in this lifetime kowtow to someone else’s demands or what someone else expects of me. I will not ever be someone else’s stomping mat EVER!!  I do not care who you are, what your level of prestige is, or what your level of authority may be.

I spent many years trying to please everyone in my life. I am a loving and kind person. I am a forgiving person, but I am not a weak and subservient person. I am not a selfish or greedy person. I am small in stature, but never small in my way of thinking. I have my faults just as everyone does, but being haughty, pompous, and downright disrespectful are not any of them.

I have had people blatantly lie to me, disrespect me, use me, attack me, and talk down to me as if they are better than me more than enough times in my life and in this second half of my life I will no longer allow any of it towards myself or the ones I love. The one thing I can say for both sides of the spectrum is, do not ever perceive to know someone or what their intentions are until you have truly spent quality time with them and really gotten to know them.

We can all get a gut feeling about someone based on an appearance or a behavior, but none of us really know all the in-depth details of someone from face value or even word of mouth. I am learning that people will take what you are willing to give, and they will dish out what you are willing to take. I am learning now that no one is above having a curtain of their own and no one is worth making you feel demoralized, humiliated, or disrespected. I don’t care what cards they think they hold. As long as I have the Lord in my life and I am walking his designed path for me, I hold a royal flush.

You may think you can sling your pettiness at me, but no one is without their own demons and baggage behind them, so step gingerly when you attempt to enter my space and think you have something to say, because you just might find a response you are not ready for.

My faith in the Lord keeps me grounded and true, but my faith in others is no longer so steadfast and solid. Anyone who believes they are above another is no one I want to be a part of my life. Anyone who holds judgement of someone as if they stand in a place that is without judgement is not someone, I wish to have anything to do with. I pay homage to no one but my Lord. I don’t care what you think you hold over me or how much better you think you are than me, you will never gain my respect by being disrespectful and demeaning to me.

Those of you who cast such stones and carry yourselves in such a manner, your judgement will come one day. I know I will be judged as well. I have already asked forgiveness for my faults, I wonder if you will for yours.